I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
