Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
