I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Randomize
