Pants 0. Shit 1.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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