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  • Stolen joooooooooooke

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 27, 09 at 3:51am
  • It's a boy!... Kinda.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 1:07am
  • b-a-n-a...keep going... n-a-n-a DAMN!

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 26, 09 at 5:21pm
  • I totally agree, i got all pissed cause i didn't want anyone taking credit for Demetri Awesome Martin! :)

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 27, 09 at 11:09pm
  • I want leather sleeves.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 26, 09 at 12:46pm
  • a poster of a meteor is equal to a poster of dinosaur becuase if a guy has that in his room , hes not getting laid. EVER.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 26, 09 at 8:30pm
  • Yay texting Demetri jokes!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 3:48am
  • I LOVE demetri martin!!!! they must have named oranges before they named carrots...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 9, 09 at 5:25pm
  • Why doesn't he ever go into the pool?...oh, he's a CAT PERSON

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 23, 09 at 9:05pm
  • I go to a lot of sports bars. I'm not really into sports, and I'm not a big drinker, but I love slappin' five.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 6, 09 at 1:37pm
  • Someone in Houston likes Demitri Martin

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 27, 09 at 5:20pm
  • glitter is the herpes of craft supplies.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 26, 09 at 5:55pm
  • Demitri Martin rules!

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 26, 09 at 8:21am
  • Everything is pocket-sized if your ass is big enough.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 26, 09 at 7:01pm
  • if i ever saw an amputee getting hung, i'd just start yelling out vowels

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 26, 09 at 11:56am
  • demetri is the best!!!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 26, 09 at 3:09pm
  • i'm glad people recognize this as demetri martin's joke

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 27, 09 at 8:28pm
  • thats demetriiiiiiiiiiiiiii

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 26, 09 at 10:32am
  • First. Oh and. Demitri!!!!!!!!!

    Submitted by sircohan on Jun 5, 10 at 10:41pm
  • my frienbd uses a lot of similes. hes like..........annoying.........ladies

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 26, 09 at 6:47pm
  • I LOVE that man. seeing him live tomorrow :D

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 28, 09 at 10:37pm
  • hahaha peeing in the pool is different than peeing into the pool. location, location, location.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 27, 09 at 1:10am
  • YESS DEMETRI!! Every fight is a food fight when you're a cannibal

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 26, 09 at 12:56pm
  • the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades...especially if your teammates are bad guessers

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 3, 09 at 7:07pm
  • hiking is just walking where its okay to pee. sometimes old people hike by accident.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 2, 09 at 5:52pm
  • it's funny how finger puppets sounds okay as a noun. demitri = <3

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 26, 09 at 8:28am
  • I always carry a lighter with me ... I don't smoke ... I just like certain songs. ♥ oh Demetri Martin.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 26, 09 at 10:39am
  • way to steal jokes. this ones mine... if you cant tell the difference between a spoon and a ladle than youre fat.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 16, 09 at 1:57am
  • I put g.i. joes in my butt

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 26, 09 at 1:11pm
  • Saying ‘I’m sorry’ is the same as saying ‘I apologize.’ Except at a funeral.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 28, 09 at 5:02pm
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