Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
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It's a boy!... Kinda.
b-a-n-a...keep going... n-a-n-a DAMN!
I totally agree, i got all pissed cause i didn't want anyone taking credit for Demetri Awesome Martin! :)
a poster of a meteor is equal to a poster of dinosaur becuase if a guy has that in his room , hes not getting laid.
I want leather sleeves.
Yay texting Demetri jokes!
I LOVE demetri martin!!!!
they must have named oranges before they named carrots...
Why doesn't he ever go into the pool?...oh, he's a CAT PERSON
Someone in Houston likes Demitri Martin
I go to a lot of sports bars. I'm not really into sports, and I'm not a big drinker, but I love slappin' five.
Everything is pocket-sized if your ass is big enough.
glitter is the herpes of craft supplies.
Demitri Martin rules!
demetri is the best!!!!
if i ever saw an amputee getting hung, i'd just start yelling out vowels
i'm glad people recognize this as demetri martin's joke
First. Oh and. Demitri!!!!!!!!!
my frienbd uses a lot of similes. hes like..........annoying.........ladies
peeing in the pool is different than peeing into the pool. location, location, location.
I LOVE that man.
seeing him live tomorrow :D
YESS DEMETRI!! Every fight is a food fight when you're a cannibal
hiking is just walking where its okay to pee.
sometimes old people hike by accident.
the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades...especially if your teammates are bad guessers
it's funny how finger puppets sounds okay as a noun.
demitri = <3
I always carry a lighter with me ... I don't smoke ... I just like certain songs. ♥ oh Demetri Martin.
way to steal jokes.
this ones mine... if you cant tell the difference between a spoon and a ladle than youre fat.
I put g.i. joes in my butt
Saying ‘I’m sorry’ is the same as saying ‘I apologize.’ Except at a funeral.