Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
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It's a boy!... Kinda.
b-a-n-a...keep going... n-a-n-a DAMN!
I totally agree, i got all pissed cause i didn't want anyone taking credit for Demetri Awesome Martin! :)
a poster of a meteor is equal to a poster of dinosaur becuase if a guy has that in his room , hes not getting laid.
I want leather sleeves.
Yay texting Demetri jokes!
I LOVE demetri martin!!!!
they must have named oranges before they named carrots...
Why doesn't he ever go into the pool?...oh, he's a CAT PERSON
I go to a lot of sports bars. I'm not really into sports, and I'm not a big drinker, but I love slappin' five.
Someone in Houston likes Demitri Martin
Everything is pocket-sized if your ass is big enough.
Demitri Martin rules!
glitter is the herpes of craft supplies.
demetri is the best!!!!
i'm glad people recognize this as demetri martin's joke
First. Oh and. Demitri!!!!!!!!!
if i ever saw an amputee getting hung, i'd just start yelling out vowels
my frienbd uses a lot of similes. hes like..........annoying.........ladies
I LOVE that man.
seeing him live tomorrow :D
peeing in the pool is different than peeing into the pool. location, location, location.
YESS DEMETRI!! Every fight is a food fight when you're a cannibal
the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades...especially if your teammates are bad guessers
hiking is just walking where its okay to pee.
sometimes old people hike by accident.
I always carry a lighter with me ... I don't smoke ... I just like certain songs. ♥ oh Demetri Martin.
it's funny how finger puppets sounds okay as a noun.
demitri = <3
way to steal jokes.
this ones mine... if you cant tell the difference between a spoon and a ladle than youre fat.
I put g.i. joes in my butt
Saying ‘I’m sorry’ is the same as saying ‘I apologize.’ Except at a funeral.