proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
