He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize