you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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