My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
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