It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.