i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Everything about him screamed your future.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites