i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.