East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
well I can't set my house on fire every night
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Houston, we have a squirter
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing