Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize