My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
