Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
It's rum buckets o'clock
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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