I smell stomach acid.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
