The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
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