Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize