She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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