Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
