why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
well you can't waste a boner
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
