Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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