You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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