i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
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