i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
