I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
