I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
