I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
