i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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