My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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