Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
