No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
