I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Randomize
