The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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