? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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