I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
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