Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
