morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
false alarm, still single
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