i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
