I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
