problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
