also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
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drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
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I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize