I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
