I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
