She is in my trunk
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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