No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
i need some magic done to my vagina
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
