ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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