Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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