So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
