no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
