dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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