I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
