I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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