I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
