he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
