Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize