You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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