If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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