I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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