I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
