What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
