omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Randomize
