What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
