it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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